Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
