my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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