Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
