So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize