Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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