Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
