quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
