your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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