there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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