Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize