So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
