I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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