If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
