Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
