i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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