How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize