we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
