R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
