I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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