Sober January is a disaster.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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