i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
