I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Randomize
