Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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