Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
