At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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