I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
