I can text with my tongue
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
