Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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