Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
