Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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