fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
