I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
