It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He better not be in your backpack
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
