she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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