Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
pop tarts are not kleenex
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
