you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
