everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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