Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
someone threw a dead crab at me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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