It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
