You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
