Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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