I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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