i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
