make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
