Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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