...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
