About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
