I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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