No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
