I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize