Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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