none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Houston, we have a blender
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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