THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
