I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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