oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
