Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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