Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
