his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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