Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
