my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
