I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
