She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize