Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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