I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
