I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Green mimosas i think yes
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'd cum for enchiladas.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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