high people should be assigned attendants
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Who died my cat blue again?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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