kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
