I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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